JOEyGADGET

The title of this post is actually gentler than my initial title idea: “Objects are shittier than they appear.” And let me tell you, the More-Thing Ultra Slim Silicone Case is a piece of shit. It’s as flimsy and formless as a pair of stretched-out, decades-old Fruit of the Loom briefs (which are actually more useful than this crappy silicone case).

Don’t let the More-Thing website fool you: Those gorgeous, Penthouse-quality Vaseline-dabbed-lens beauty shots of the Ultra Slim Silicone cases in all their throbbing-colors glory with names like Tomato and Liquid Blue are bullshit. Ditto for the colorless choices like the black one I ordered for $11.90 plus nearly as much for expedited shipping from Hong Kong.

The fit is loose and anything but tight, and the finish – if you could call it that – is shameful. As the picture shows the cutout for the iPhone 3G headphone jack is just that – a crudely cut opening – and nothing like the cleanly round hole shown in the website pictures. Only after receiving this crappy case and slipping it onto my iPhone like a used condom found on the beach and then immediately removing it did it occur to me to check for other opinions and reviews. Low and behold, the company’s own product page for the crappy case revealed many other unhappy buyers.

Thanks for nothing, More-Thing.